|Some of the day's best-read work is being penned by
anonymous wags who distribute their words via email over the Internet grapevine.
Here's one example of the genre currently making the rounds that makes play out of the
rapidly evolving language of computers.
TECHNOLOGY TALK FOR COUNTRY FOLK:
LOG ON: Making a wood stove hot
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the woodstove
DOWNLOAD: Gittin the farwood off the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When you're not keerfull gittin the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from trying to tote too much farwood
RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gitting home in the winter time
WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside
SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's blak fly season
BYTE: Whut dem dang flys do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha do to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Whar you hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifes
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the mouse hole
MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof
PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine
ENTER: Northerner talk fer, "C'Mon in y'all"
CLICK: Whut you hear when you cock your gun
DOUBLE CLICK: When the dang gun don't far when you pull the trigger
REBOOT: Whut you have to do right before bedtime when you forgot to use the outhouse.